Battleship Trailer: With Even More-Abrasive Transformers
The trailer for the movie named after a board game has been released in the form of two-minute turd Battleship. It’s as awful as you’d expect from a wafer-thin plot and a $200,000 Transformers derivative work that’s about the game Battleship in name alone.
Okay, the Transformers thing. Director Peter Berg is displaying a major Michael Bay hard-on/ man-crush in all the worst possible ways. It’s as though he’s all-Bay all the time on Netflix and he’s been syphoning off bombast into those little containers you put your emergency supply of gas. And everything from the chemistry-free love interest that can never be to the sound of the imitation Transformers morphing has been copied. The story arc, as one can glean from the movie’s IMDb, is about aliens of undetermined intent crashing to Earth and hiding in plain sight as modes of transport. And it’s named after a toy, effectively.
There’s nothing more to be gleaned, except two of the more recognisable names, Alexander Skarsgard and Rihanna, are hardly in this trailer. Brooklyn Decker and Liam Neeson feature more heavily. In fact, Rihanna barely gets one full second of screen time in this (at around 1:44).
This is going to stink. There’s no way of dancing around that.