British Men Think Kristen Stewart is Ugly
February 21, 2013 by Jesus Dominguez
Good on you! British men, known for their discriminating tastes (not really) and binge drinking (really), have voted Kristen Stewart the “least sexy Hollywood actress”. Which is British for “uglier than Sarah Jessica Parker”. No really, it is. The list, compiled by MenKind.co.uk, seems very scientific. Here’s the top (or bottom) 10.
1. Kristen Stewart
2. Sarah Jessica Parker
3. Lindsay Lohan
4. Denise Richards
5. Kirsten Dunst
6. Mischa Barton
7. Hilary Swank
8. Lucy Liu
9. Tilda Swinton
10. Uma Thurman
Is Sarah Jessica Parker even an actress anymore? Hilary Swank had the greatest rack for about one night at the Oscars. I’m not sure where they went after that and now she looks like an anorexic soccer mom. Uma Thurman has always looked like an ostrich. Kirsten Dunst… you know… if she got braces, she would actually be–no she would still look a little weird. Mischa Barton looks like a fat heroin addict. Denise Richards was hot in the 90s but now all I can think of is Charlie Sheen. I don’t know who Tilda Swinton is but her name is ugly. The addition of Lindsay Lohan should actually be flattering since she’s implicitly regarded as an actress by her inclusion in this survey. I suppose, most of these are agreeable but Lucy Liu? C’mon! She’s still keeping it tight. Poppycock!
The Independent reports that a spokesmen from MenKind said:
Our Oscars poll has been a fascinating insight into the minds of British men – it’s shown that sexiness is far more than appearance. They were turned off by volatile and moody actresses as well as ice queens. And they don’t want to see unhealthily skinny starlets on the big screen.
Actually, it seems like they just recognize ugly. Which is surprising because I have known British men to have strikingly low standards when it comes to shagging–that’s what they call sex, you know. So if an entire Empire, that doesn’t care if you have brown crooked teeth or orange skin (they do love their fake and bake), thinks you’re ugly then it’s probably true. Unless you’re Lucy Liu. Don’t listen to them, sweetheart. Let’s go for dim sum.