Hugh Hefner & Crystal Harris Got Married… To Each Other

January 1, 2013 by Jesus Dominguez

The on again/off again publicity stunt is back on! TMZ.com is reporting that 26-year-old Crystal Harris and 86-year-old Hugh Hefner tied the knot in a small ceremony at the Playboy Mansion. They got married a few hours before the Mansion’s annual New Year’s Eve party.

This is the same woman who left him at the altar in 2011 which sparked that bitter custody battle over their shared dog. What’s going on, Hefner? You’re supposed to be the man! Some woman left you at the altar? You’re supposed to put her sister in your magazine and then seduce her mother on your yacht in the South of France. That’s how it’s done, bro. Don’t you remember?? I guess an octogenarian pornographer has to slow down some time.

Harris tweeted, “Today is the day I become Mrs. Hugh Hefner. Feeling very happy, lucky, and blessed,” before becoming an honest woman. She seemed thrilled. This is her first marriage. Hefner’s third.

Clearly Hefner thinks he’s gonna die and Harris’ illustrious career has stalled… nothing pays like giving handies to a grandpa. Or… it could be true love!!