Everyone’s Pretending Jennifer Aniston’s Engaged, Pregnant In This Week’s Tabloids
August 10, 2011 by Hollywoodite
Jennifer Aniston’s womb sells magazine covers. Her womb has been making profitable, alternating appearances on OK!, Us Weekly and other covers since around 2006 at least. There has barely been one week in the past five years during which some trite lie about Aniston trying for a baby or being pregnant hasn’t graced a cover. It’s clearly a seller. And people clearly believe at least part of it, every time. Or there’s no conceivable way to get away with churning this out, so often, and with such vigor. Only the stories of trouble with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie or the no longer relevant love-triangle have seen more covers. It’s getting beyond ludicrous and a bunch of tabloids literally went with the same lie this week. Let’s marry off Aniston and boyfriend Justin Theroux, who dumped his live-in girlfriend of 14-years, Heidi Bivens. And let’s pretend they’re pre-engaged because that’s not moronic and that’s actually a thing now. And let’s get them trying for a baby, because that requires no proof. And let’s say she may already be pregnant because that requires no proof either.
* This week’s Us Weekly makes Aniston’s womb their cover. Aniston met Theroux’s family while in England recently. Which is enough to get them trying for a baby. While on holiday in Kauai, Hawaii, the couple reportedly discussed the next level. “They have talked at length about getting married and starting a family,” an insider claims. “She is anxious for the next phase of her life and feels like this is the time… They both want it to happen soon.” And she’s reportedly “detoxifying,” hiring a private chef and doing at least 45 minutes of yoga daily, an island source claims as though they would know. Moreover, “Jen hasn’t felt this way about anyone since Brad.”
* InTouch Weekly is still beating to death the wedding that no one’s planning because the couple is not engaged. “Jen & Justin’s Shotgun Wedding” reads the cover. The non-existent wedding will be “outdoors and edgy, ” because that’s what one needs for a second wedding. Jezebel.com supposes that “they have been spending their vacation scoping out nice venues for tying the knot.” Hmm.. “They’re getting married before the end of the year, if not the end of the summer,” adds a source to the magazine.
* Star is following the same lead. “Yes, I’m Having A Baby!” reads a headline that’s not a quote from Aniston. She has “[an] undeniable glow on her face” and a “suspicious bump” and “Jennifer looks pregnant… She’s bathed in an incredible glow, her belly looks fuller and all of a sudden she’s wearing looser clothing. All the signs are there.” The magazine, shown in the gallery, includes photos of Aniston with a food baby while wearing baggy clothes. Aniston’s reportedly not drinking and Star claims the non-wedding will be in November even though no one else has a date that specific. And despite the deliberately misleading and unethical placement of the “Exclusive: Star talks to Justin’s family” the family don’t talk about Aniston because there’s nothing to confirm. They’re just asked generic questions about Theroux’s life in New York.
PHOTO CREDIT – US WEEKLY, INTOUCH, STAR VIA JEZEBEL
