Excerpts From “Malibu Nanny: The True Adventures of the Former Kardashian Nanny”
July 16, 2012 by Hollywoodite
Pam Behan has released her book, Malibu Nanny: The True Adventures of the Former Kardashian Nanny.
In the book, Behan, the former nanny to the Kardashians and to the older Jenner children from 1988 until 1996, talks about doing household errands and being Kris Jenner’s unofficial personal assistant. Here are some excerpts.
* Behan describes an incident from her first few weeks of working with Kris Jenner. Sent out to get groceries of which broccoli was a staple not explicitly requested that day, Behan recalls: “When I got home, Kris, who was in the kitchen, looked at the groceries I had just purchased, and let out a torrent of expletives. ‘$#&%! $#&%! $#&%! I can’t believe you forgot the $#&%ing broccoli!” Jenner later offered a non-apology and explained that it’s better to be cursing and honest rather than withholding when something’s wrong. “Are you mad at me, Pam? Wouldn’t you rather I just speak my mind and be done with it? Or would you rather have me act like nothing is wrong, when there is something wrong?” asked Jenner. Behan continues: “I didn’t know how to respond. In her mind, her actions were completely rational. To me, her response to the missing broccoli was utterly irrational.” Later in the book, Behan backpedals: “I must admit, though, it was probably better for her to vent rather than feel the retribution of resentment later.”
* Kris Jenner has always been a famewhore. Back in January, Jenner’s former lover Todd Waterman told In Touch Weekly Magazine that Jenner groomed her kids for fame. Waterman said at the time: “It was a steady, superficial diet of what to wear, who your friends are, where to be seen and what car to drive. [Kris Jenner] prized fame, money and sex above all else. Early on, it was made clear to me that Kris desired a celebrity lifestyle.” Behan agrees in her own book, writing: “I was there at the very start, before the cameras and the fame… Kris always seemed to be rubbing elbows with people that were ‘somebody.’ Kourtney, Kim, Khloe and Robert spent time with friends whose parents were celebrities or people in the limelight. I believe she was grooming her children for their current celebrity status their entire lives… I do believe that the success they enjoy now is what she always hoped for and wanted for them and for herself.”
* Behan describes her job as “nanny,” unofficial “personal assistant,” “surrogate mom,” a “cook” who “didn’t like to cook” because she wasn’t proficient at it although she still had to “plan healthy meals nearly every night for ten people, including the four kids, Bruce and Kris, myself, the maid and usually a guest or two.”
* Behan explains the role, which she repeatedly calls “challenging”: “Not only was I the nanny, but I was also Kris’s ‘personal assistant,’ which meant taking care of all the errands and tasks it takes to run a household so she could focus on their business endeavors. Had we signed a contract, I imagine the wording would have gone something like this: You shall function as my personal assistant and shall perform a list of duties, subject to change, at my full discretion, at any time. Such duties must be performed immediately and as efficiently and quickly as possible, and may include any or all of the following activities, but are not limited to this list: appointment scheduler, answering service, delivery person, errand runner (errands include, but are not limited to, the following: grocery shopping, personal shopping, birthday shopping, clothes shopping, any and all other shopping I deem necessary, dry cleaning, returns, etc.) chauffer to children, car washer, counselor, cook, household manager, etc., et al, ad nauseum.”
* Bruce Jenner was obsessed with plastic surgery even then: “Bruce told me one time that I was a cross between Farrah Fawcett and Goldie Hawn, which put a big smile on my face. Despite this, the subject of plastic surgery came up one day in an unexpected way. Bruce was looking at me funny, ‘What?’ I asked as he stared at my face. ‘You should probably have a little taken off your nose.’ Huh? I’m nineteen. It had never, ever occurred to me that I might need a nose job… I guess in the land of the beautiful and perfect people, there was always some ‘work’ that could be done.”
* The Kardashian kids were troubled at the death of family friend Nicole Brown Simpson (the murdered late wife of family friend O.J. Simpson, whose lawyer was late patriarch Robert Kardashian Sr.): ”All of the kids, but especially Khloe and Robert, were in shock,” Behan wrote of the 1994 murder. ”They were very disturbed and kept asking questions. They’d wake up in the middle of the night with bad dreams and more questions.”