Wentworth Miller Was Suicidal Over His Sexuality: “The First Time I Tried To Kill Myself I Was 15″
September 9, 2013 by Hollywoodite
Wentworth Miller came out as being gay about a week ago. The headlines were… mixed. It’s been an open secret for years that he’s been in relationships with men. Moreover, photos of his male significant others are only a Google away. People know, basically. He just confirmed. He did so after being invited to a Russian film festival; Russia, of course, being guilty of repressive laws that discriminate against the LGBT community. He issued a public letter through GLAAD, saying “as a gay man, I must decline” the invitation.
It’s a few days later and he’s given a subsequent speech about his reasons for coming out, his feelings about his own sexuality, and admitted to lying outright about being gay in the past.
The 41-year-old actor spoke at the Human Rights Campaign Dinner in Seattle Saturday where he admitted to attempting suicide “more than once,” beginning age 15.
“The first time I tried to kill myself I was 15. I waited until my family went away for the family and I was alone in the house and I swallowed a bottle of pills,” he revealed. “I don’t remember what happened over the next couple of days but I’m pretty sure come Monday morning I was on the bus back to school pretending everything was fine.”
“Growing up I was a target. Speaking the right way, standing the right way, holding your wrist the right way. Every day was a test and there was a thousand ways to fail,” he admitted. “A thousand ways to portray yourself to not live up to someone else’s standards of what was accepted.”
“I had multiple opportunities to speak my truth, which is that I was gay, but I chose not to,” he shared. “I was out privately to family and friends — publicly, I was not… I chose to lie — when I thought about the possibility of coming out, how that might impact me and the career I worked so hard for, I was filled with fear.”
That last part, he lied a lot when asked by the media about the gay rumours. For example, in 2007, he told InStyle Magazine: “I’m not gay, but that rumor can’t be killed. I’d like to have a girlfriend and a family. But I haven’t met the right one yet. Until then I’m focusing on my job. I had to wait so long for this chance I savor every second on set even if it means 14 hours of shooting a day.”